I got a really long email the other day describing the details of a situation a reader was having. Due to the personal information, I decided to use the reader’s own summary: I have an awesome gf I really like, but I’m about to move away from her. Should we go long distance, open relationship, cheat, or just break up? I have a rule against long distance relationships. The only real benefit of dating is constant, on‑demand sex, and if you’re gone for months she can easily replace you with someone

Long Distance: No, this one is out. Open Relationship: This would be the best route if you can get her to swing for it, but you’ve got to be totally chill with the fact that she will be on some strange penis in your absence. Also, the longer you are in an open relationship with her, the less likely you’ll return to monogamy. Once you cross that line, she will start treating you like one option among many, not a special partner.

Cheat: This is a good option if she never ever finds out. You also have to go into this knowing she already thinks you’re cheating or will be cheating on her. You’ve got to compensate for that – turn up the beta a bit more than normal, and make sure your alpha is still dominant so she gets wet talking to you. The moment she smells lies or inconsistency, you’re out, so you either commit to the game or you don’t play at all.

Break up: This is what I vote you do. It has all the chance of working out good like cheating and not getting caught, and none of the risk of getting caught. The key is to end things on an amicable and friendly note so you can circle back later. Don’t belabor the point or be rude, but don’t linger either – just say it’s going to be hard and treat it like a bandaid, then walk away before she starts negotiating for your time and attention.